In Praise of Female Friendships on Mother’s Day

It’s true that all of us biologically came from a mother. But, for some of us, Mother’s Day can be a tender reminder that, for many reasons, including estrangement, death, or distance, we don’t have the ideal maternal relationship you see playing out in the Hallmark commercials this May. 

But many of us have found maternal love and bonds through our female friends, with whom we share deep connections of sisterhood — unrelenting support through gentle, feminine energy that feels like a net of compassion and love to hold your heart on days you need it held. 

Through their consistent, unwavering love, my network of women friends has helped me reparent my inner child who, for many years, felt fundamentally unlovable. Because of them, I can reassure the fragile parts of myself that you are safe, you matter, and you are loved — something I didn’t know for roughly the first three decades of my life. 

Sisterhood changed my life — and in many ways, probably saved it. 

Science tells us that women’s support of each other uniquely improves a woman’s health by releasing stress-fighting oxytocin, and this may be why women live longer than men. Studies even show higher rates of breast cancer survival in women with a strong network of female friends. Women also improve each other’s self-esteem, which leads to stronger life choices like finding a better partner or going for a job promotion. And women with a professional female circle will see more career advancements and be paid 2.5 times higher than they otherwise would. Plus, exchanging those 3:00 AM random texts about Twilight in your girl chat when you all should be sleeping is just a lot of fun. 

This Mother’s Day, whether you have a strong maternal figure present in your life or not, take a moment to appreciate the mothering you give and receive from other women in your life. Celebrate the women who check to make sure you got home safe, order you Uber Eats when you’re sick, send you silly memes to cheer you up, ask you not to text and drive, assure you that cutting bangs was a good decision, shop with you for a new blazer for your job interview, celebrate your accomplishments, and who you know will always be waiting for you at the finish line, cheering. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all our self-elected mothers and their gorgeous maternal hearts that make everything we do feel a little more possible.