Becoming Better Allies: Supporting Trans and Gender Nonconforming Friends

Becoming Better Allies: Supporting Trans and Gender Nonconforming Friends

Written by Sarah Healy & Natalia Daies

Uncategorized

There have been over 600 anti-LGBTQ+ bills filed since 2018. According to the Human Rights Campaign, 400+ anti-LGBTQ+ bills have been introduced in statehouses across the country in 2023 alone. The majority of these bills target the trans community. This increase in anti-LGBTQ+ and, specifically, anti-trans, legislation has been accompanied by an increase in hateful rhetoric and public harassment directed towards trans and nonbinary people. 

Most recently, an influx of public performance bills have been introduced in an attempt to outlaw or restrict drag artistry in over 18 states including Arizona, Arkansas, Montana, South Dakota, Tennessee, and Texas. These bills specifically target drag performers and artistry and misconstrue gender nonconformity as sexually explicit. Legislation such as public performance bills directly impact the experiences of trans and nonbinary people by criminalizing every day gender expression. In addition to public performance bills, states are also considering legislation restricting access to gender-affirming healthcare services, use of affirming language, and inclusive literature. Below are examples of anti-trans legislation introduced in 2023:

  • Florida lawmakers have passed laws restricting race-based, sexual orientation, and gender identity conversations in schools. 

  • Mississippi, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, and Georgia have passed bills that would prevent trans youth from being able to access age-appropriate and medically necessary health care (and there are over 40 more bills across the country introducing this in other states).

  • There are over 80 bills aimed at preventing transgender youth from playing school sports consistent with their gender identity.  

  • The U.S. House passed the first national anti-trans youth bill effectively requiring schools to out trans youth to their parents through the Parents Bill of Rights Act.

While this collective push for restrictive legislation is far greater than any of us as individuals, we each play a critical role in the journey towards a more inclusive and safe society – a society where trans and nonbinary people are able to thrive and authentically express the fullness of their identity without the fear of discrimination. Knowing how to support our trans and nonbinary friends and colleagues or what it truly means to be an ally means being intentional, conscious, and attuned to what’s happening right now. It’s actively working towards decreasing the gap between what we say we believe about inclusivity and what we are doing to learn more and create change. 

Here are just a few things to consider as we seek to become better allies:

Acknowledge implicit bias and question assumptions. Gender is a spectrum. Don’t assume anyone's gender. Always respect each individual’s journey and the terminology they use to describe their identity. 

Inclusion is an action that requires daily practice. Don’t be afraid to ask if you’re uncertain. When we meet people for the first time, we almost always ask for their names. We can begin to incorporate pronouns as well. 

Educate yourself. It’s important to ask questions, but it’s even more important to take initiative to learn more on our own. Despite a number of supportive companies and industries leading the way for LGBTQ+ inclusion in the workplace, there is significant progress to be made. While many companies across the U.S. are starting support groups or buddy systems to further educate employees on how to be better allies both in- and outside of the work environment, it’s ultimately up to us to seek out the tools and resources to better support our friends and colleagues. 

Challenge hurtful language and behavior. Support colleagues by respectfully correcting peers when witnessing microaggressions, misgendering, or other harmful behaviors. Normalizing conversations about gender diversity will help all of us to be more open to feedback when being redirected or guided on how to change behaviors or language to create a more affirming and inclusive environment.

Rethink language. Changing how we address people with gendered language is a first step to progress. Avoid phrases like “you guys”, “hey ladies”, or “ladies and gentlemen,” and instead make use of words and phrases such as: folks, people, a collective they or them, everybody, and, our personal favorite, “y’all” which means ALL. 

Each person's story is their own. While it's important to normalize talking about gender and using correct pronouns, we should never out someone. It's up to each person to share the details of their identity on their own timeline. 

Decenter Self and create brave space for peers. Be patient. Gender Identity is a journey. If a co-worker is on that journey, give them the space they need. Recognize that privilege is power and we should utilize the power we have in our workspaces to make change. 

Check out more tips on being a good ally from the National Center for Transgender Equality to learn more: Supporting the Transgender People in Your Life: A Guide to Being a Good Ally  

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